Darshan/To Observe- Post 2

Unfulfilled Dreams -

I have decided to simply have a conversation around a “Nazm”by our evergreen poet in white- Gulzar Ji.

स्कूल से आते हुए बस्ते में मैंने आमपापड का एक टुकड़ा तोड़ कर रख लिया था,

वो मेरे रंगीन शीशों के ख़ज़ाने में गुम हो जाया करता था अक्सर,

मैं अँधेरे में टिमकते जुगनुओं से ढून्ढ लिया करता था

वो मेरे साथ रहने लग गया था, एक टुकड़ा आसमान का.

घिर कर आती थी जब जब बरसातें ,

भीग जाती थी किताबें मेरे बस्ते में ,

धुप में जब पीठ जलने लगती थी , तो बस्ता टिका कर नीम के पेड़ के नीचे हवा देता था उसको ,

शोर करते थे परिंदे मेरे बस्ते में, तो सब teachers मेरे नाराज़ थे।

मैं बाहर रख कर आ जाता था, बस्ता टांग आता था गिलहरी वाले शीशम पर,

या अम्मा के छाबे पर जो गुड़ के सेव देती थी।

किताबें तो बड़ी होती गयी सारी , वज़न बढ़ता रहा उनका

मेरा बस्ता पुराना होता जा रहा था , फट रहा था

ना जाने कहाँ गिर पड़ा वह टुकड़ा मेरा आसमान का.

मैं नंगे पाओं चलता हूँ , तो पैरों में बहुत चुभती हैं किरचे आसमान की , वो चूरा हो गया है , वो मेरा आसमान चूरा हो चुकाहै।

Let’s interpret this masterpiece -

Yellow highlighted words give meaning to first part of this nazm.

आमपापड का एक टुकड़ा- Represents my aspirations/dreams

रंगीन शीशों के ख़ज़ाने- My childhood days and times of exploration

टुकड़ा आसमान का - Aspirations shaped into dreams and hence आमपापड is replaced with आसमान

Blue highlighted part - showcases with all beauty the surroundings and raw memories of our childhood. It just gives that imagery of things like rainy days, scorching heat with our bags on our back and that we never complained. In these moments my dreams where getting shaped and they were close to my heart.

Pink Highlighted part- showcases chasing or my dreams. When originality of my dreams was being challenged.

And finally, the green highlight part- showcases my unfulfilled dreams.

I am sure if you read it again couple of times, it will seem even more beautiful and you will fall in love with this writing.

Our original dreams are unfulfilled for various reasons, but these unfulfilled dreams are also surrounded by beautiful childhood or old memories that add a bittersweet feeling. There is a lot of nostalgia involved. In my viewpoint it makes me happier than being sad. It just proves the fact that happiness is a state of mind and I feel overwhelmed more by the good times surrounding those dreams than the mere nature of those being unfulfilled . The time that has gone by is not just about me, but it involves many people who were part of those memories and without them no memory is worth remembering.

Those voices of our loved ones in our old home, noise of those old wooden doors closing and opening, smell of home cooked food, many more minute details complete these surroundings.

I wish everyone sees the beauty of nostalgia poignantly mixed with chasing of unfulfilled dreams and appreciate those times. A smile should leave behind on our lips. Wish we could always see life and situations from a helicopter or from the top and see a bigger picture, instead of reacting to a smaller version of this bigger picture.

That viewpoint remains missing until we get to spend time with ourselves and reflect.

With warm wishes and good vibes always

Yours NK